A Rule for Ordinary Life Prayer, Order, and the Duties Before Us
Restoration does not remain in moments of insight or fervent resolve. We may recognize a fault clearly, choose the opposing virtue sincerely, and even understand something about the interior battle, yet still discover that good intentions disappear under the pressure of an ordinary day. The phone rings, work expands, family needs change, fatigue arrives, and what seemed clear in prayer is easily forgotten. Restoration becomes durable when good intentions are given a concrete structure.
A simple Christian rule of life protects prayer, strengthens freedom, and helps us remember the good we have already chosen. It does not attempt to control every hour or remove the unpredictability of vocation. Instead, it gives the day a few faithful anchors: time with God, a concrete resolution, attention to duties, and honest examination. These modest practices create room for continuity when enthusiasm fades or circumstances change.
This is not a rigid schedule that turns the spiritual life into another burden. It is a gentle framework that makes us more attentive to grace and more ready to respond to it. The duties of our state, including work, family, and household responsibilities, are not obstacles to holiness. They are the very material in which holiness is lived. A rule of life should help us become more faithful within the life God has given us, not make us resent that life for interrupting an ideal plan. Grace restores the soul through fidelity in the next good thing.
Just a couple. You know, we often think that this whole process is initiated by us and is within us. That really, it’s not. Right? We are being called into this process of growth. It’s really God calling us out of ourselves to be with Him.
And we know that God is fundamentally order. Right? We see it in the 60 second minute, I mean the 60 minute hour, the 24 hour day, the seven day week. Right? All of these things allow us to develop habits that are reliable. And we want to, in some small way, begin to mimic that routine, that orderliness, that reliability that God has provided us in our day, to bring that into our own life as kind of our own. I mean, God has given us His rule, per se, and now we need to find that sort of in a micro way.
And it doesn’t need to be complicated. Right? There doesn’t have to be anything. We don’t have to sit down and write out every single day, ordered time. What we’re looking for is a rule that can serve our vocation. Most of us, probably everyone in the show, I am a mother. Many of us either have children or different things, our natural vocation, and whatever rule we create must not compete with it.
None of us are called to go into a particular vocation, hours in silent adoration of the Church, right? So don’t create something that is not at the disposal of your own personal vocation.
I think a priest once said that to me once, as I was kind of wondering, how does one know whether or not one is carrying a vocation? Because I said, for instance, I could go to daily Mass every single day. This was back when I had very small children. I could do that, right? But at what cost? Right? And he said, so if I don’t, because I could, is that a sin of omission? He said, “No. Your vocation is to the needs of your family and your children. If you go to Mass and you fail to feed your children breakfast, then you have committed a sin of omission, and your mission is to not meet the needs of your vocation.”
I thought that was really helpful. So think about this. We need to be looking at what serves and does not compete. This beautiful book, right, what is considered a practical rhythm, something that we can follow easily. What does that look like to you? Like to me, maybe something very different. But it just means that that first motion of the heart is God in prayer. Just pause at the beginning.
Then create one concrete resolution. And this particular resolution, because we are talking about this particular spirit and trying to be attuned to our own sin, should be something that is specifically directed toward combating that particular sin, to be at the service of creating a new habit that is going to fight that vice.
Finally, once we have done that, created that concrete resolution, now do an examination, which goes back to that discernment of the spirit, right? And that leads us back to what we said before. Notice what you’re thinking of. Pause. Is this concrete resolution truly from God. Then, know where is it coming from? What kind of thoughts is it leading me to? And then respond to that.
That’s always going to be that pause, that prayer, that test, that response. Those are really, that’s going to kind of be our mantra as we’re trying to develop this new habit of virtue, right?
So, you know, when you have this rule, remember that sometimes will put in front of us. And I read this beautiful book, Saint Catherine of Siena. Sometimes our Lord will put an interruption into our plans. Saint Catherine really believed that all God wanted [her] to do was to be in the bedroom praying, and also she was [unclear] with your family. But we just have this great conversation about how, “I’m just going to spend my time with you.” This really beautiful plan, and we even did it, you know, thinking that we’ve done it with God’s permission.
Sometimes God’s just going to send an interruption, right? So when that interruption comes, “Oh, I just laid out all my beautiful prayer books. I put the baby down for a nap. Awesome, I’m going to have this time with God.” Ring! There goes your telephone call, and it’s a friend who’s weeping because something happened, right?
Okay, we have two responses there. One, to say, “Lord, it’s not what I planned. It’s not what I foresaw. I’m going to change my rule because I think that this is what you want me to do right now.” Or, ring, the phone. Stop. “If I answer that now, our Lord just gave me this quiet moment that I can really spend with Him.”
There are times when you are going to accept the interruption as coming from God, and then there are going to be other times when you must reject the interruption because it’s not of God. So, be prepared for it. Be prepared in that examination of time, flexible as to where God wants me to go.
Because as long as, and I loved what you said at the end, you know, Jesus, you’re always docile, and that’s where real charity is, right? That next good thing
Guiding Question: What small structure in my ordinary day would make me more available to grace and more faithful in love? The same principle applies to every state in life: the structure should protect what matters most while remaining supple enough to serve real duties of charity.
Closing Reflection and Prayer
Where have I expected holiness to happen only in extraordinary moments? Where have I let good intentions remain vague and unmoored? Where have I treated my daily duties as interruptions rather than the place where love is lived?
A simple rule of life is not a burden but a help. It gently orders our days so that we become more attentive to grace and more ready to respond to it.
Let us pray.
Lord Jesus Christ, You who sanctified ordinary life by Your hidden years in Nazareth, help us to order our days in a way that serves You. Give us a simple rule that protects prayer, strengthens fidelity to our duties, and opens our hearts to Your grace. Teach us to offer every task, however small, as an act of love. May our ordinary days become the place where Your kingdom quietly grows.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Sources Francis de Sales. Introduction to the Devout Life. Translated by John K. Ryan. New York: Image Books, 1972. (Part I, Chapter III; relevant chapters of Part II).
Josemaría Escrivá. Christ Is Passing By (especially no. 20).
The Holy Bible, Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition. San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 2006. (Colossians 3:23–24).