III. At the heart of Spiritual Development is our relationship to God. Prayer in its various aspects has as its fundamental goal establishing and fostering our relationship to God.
Section III – The Heart of Spiritual Development Is Our Relationship to God
At the center of spiritual development is not a technique, a discipline, or a program. It is a relationship. Christianity stands apart from every purely philosophical or ethical system because it proclaims that God is not a distant ideal but a living Person who calls the human soul into communion. The entire spiritual life is ordered toward this reality. Every form of prayer, every virtue pursued, and every interior transformation serves one purpose: deepening our union with God.
This relationship begins with God’s initiative. The Catechism teaches that “the desire for God is written in the human heart, because man is created by God and for God.”¹ This longing is not poetic imagery but an anthropological truth. Nothing finite can satisfy the human heart because we are fashioned for the infinite. Every search for meaning, every act of love, and every interior restlessness is the soul reaching toward the One for whom it was made.
Scripture expresses this truth in the simplest terms. Jesus says, “Abide in me, and I in you.”² To abide is to dwell, to remain, to stay within the life of Christ as a branch remains in the vine. Saint Teresa of Avila understood this passage as the foundation of all spiritual theology. For her, prayer is “an intimate sharing between friends,”³ a living expression of a relationship sustained by fidelity and love.
Aquinas grounds this same truth in metaphysics. The human person is ordered toward the vision and enjoyment of God as its final end.⁴ Spiritual development is therefore not a secondary dimension of life but its defining orientation. Through the virtue of charity—by which we love God for His own sake—the soul is united to Him even now.⁵ Charity elevates the will, conforms it to the divine will, and deepens the friendship for which we were created.
Saint John Henry Newman, echoing the same tradition, writes that true religion “is a communion with God, a participation in His nature, a likeness to Him.”⁶ For Newman, spiritual progress is not measured by accumulating information but by deepening obedience and love. Religion without relationship becomes abstract and ineffective. Only a living connection with God transforms character, purifies the heart, and animates Christian witness.
[If relationship with God is the heart of spiritual development, then prayer is its primary expression. Prayer is not merely one practice among many; it is the lifeblood of the relationship. In prayer we listen, receive, respond, and surrender. In prayer God reveals Himself as He is, and reveals us to ourselves. Authentic prayer is always transformative, though often quietly so.
The tradition affirms this with the imagery of Moses descending from the mountain: his face shone because he had spoken with the Lord.⁷ The radiance signifies a deeper truth. Communion with God changes the one who prays. This transformation is gradual, sometimes imperceptible in the moment, but unmistakable over time. God shapes the soul’s desires, clarifies its vision, and strengthens its capacity to love.
Modern Christians often struggle to see prayer in relational terms. It can become a list of requests or a brief devotional task. Yet the invitation remains the same as it was for the first disciples, who watched Jesus pray so often that they finally asked, “Lord, teach us to pray.”⁸ They recognized that His relationship with the Father was the source of His mission. Jesus responded not only with words but with His own Spirit, who prays within believers.⁹ The Holy Spirit is the interior teacher of prayer, drawing us into the life of the Trinity and sustaining our desire for communion.]
To say that relationship with God is central is to acknowledge that everything else in the spiritual life is secondary. Fasting, disciplines, reading, and devotions all have value, but only insofar as they foster communion. When they serve the relationship, they bear fruit. When they become ends in themselves, they lose their power. The Christian life is not a self-improvement project. It is a relationship initiated by God and received in humility and love.
[This relationship is the true measure of spiritual progress—not intensity of emotions, not the number of practices performed, not the absence of struggle, but the soul’s fidelity in turning toward God with trust and surrender. To grow spiritually is to grow in the capacity to receive God’s love and to respond to it. It is to allow grace to draw us deeper into the mystery of divine friendship.
At the heart of spiritual development is the recognition that God desires this relationship even more than we do. He always comes first, calls first, and loves first. Our task is to answer. Every resolution for the new year, every desire for holiness, every attempt at prayer begins with His initiative. The spiritual life becomes fruitful when we allow ourselves to be drawn into this relationship and abide in it faithfully.]
Reflection Question
How is God inviting me to abide more deeply in Him this week, and what concrete moment of prayer can I offer Him each day in response?
Citations
¹ Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2nd ed. (Washington, DC: United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, 2000), 27.
² John 15:4 (RSV-2CE).
³ Teresa of Avila, The Book of Her Life, trans. Kieran Kavanaugh and Otilio Rodriguez (Washington, DC: ICS Publications, 1987), 8.
⁴ Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologiae, I–II, q. 1, a. 8.
⁵ Aquinas, Summa Theologiae, II–II, q. 23, a. 1.
⁶ John Henry Newman, Faith and Prejudice and Other Unpublished Sermons, ed. Vincent Ferrer Blehl (Notre Dame, IN: University of Notre Dame Press, 1980), 69.
⁷ Exodus 34:29 (RSV-2CE).
⁸ Luke 11:1 (RSV-2CE).
⁹ Romans 8:26 (RSV-2CE).
God revealed Himself to us, in Christianity, directly relational. Know Him as father, Abba, more familiar, daddy. Whole essence to us is founder of that relationship.
Struggle with that. So many relationships stretched very thinly.
Ex/ interstate, seemed great in some sense, but hindered serendipitous relationships. Same with social media. Easy to connect video call but not serendipitous relationship.
God is familiar, a number of ways engage with Him. Don’t have these serendipitous encounters with other people, become trapped in our encounter with God. Expect relationships to occur one manner.
God wants to be silent, wait for an answer, sometimes not given, trust God is present, we sit in His presence, we get something from this even if not felt or heard. Mother hovering over the crib of her sleeping child.